I Hope You Dance
by LadyMistoffelees
Summary: Jemima stuggles with accepting her mother's death and actions, while Munkustrap also learns to accept his own mother's choices. Rated T for character death in the beginning, and in case something happens later in the story. Reviews are appreciated!
1. If I Die Young

Hey! This is my second Cats fanfic, and this was mainly written to get out some feelings in my life, but otherwise, I hope you enjoy! This is not a songfic, despite the title's name. Read on!

* * *

**1- If I Die Young**

She should have known.

He was the most dangerous tom around; so dangerous that the Jellicles banished him from the junkyard. He'd broken every law and committed the most terrible crimes that could ever be imagined. And yet, he attracted her somehow. It was like his dangerousness was some sort of seductive force that she couldn't break away from.

Macavity was even attracted to her as well. She wasn't like the other queens. Her personality was wild and fun, and it made him feel good. She accepted him for who and what he was, and it made him love her more.

They were happy for a while, and no Jellicle knew of this wicked attraction. It also gave the couple a sense of playful, yet literal danger since they would be in serious trouble if anyone ever found out. The queen was worried sometimes about their secret, but the mystery cat just assured her that it added some _fun_ to their relationship.

Well, the _fun _in their relationship got too out of hand when Macavity's lover discovered that she was carrying a kit. The queen knew that this would ruin their relationship, so she left Macavity.

The response was quite dreadful. He was heartbroken, and brought hell upon the Jellicle tribe whenever he could. With Munkustrap, and Old Deuteronomy becoming frantic with the continual attacks, the queen finally confessed to her sister about her secret love. She was quite shocked, but agreed to help her out with her kitten when it was born.

When the bright kitten was born, Munkustrap suggested to the queen that she should seek out Macavity and tell him about their kit in hopes of ending the storming attacks. Reluctantly she did.

The result was like emptying a container of gasoline on a fire. A new rage came over Macavity, and he exploded at his past lover. She tried to douse his anger, but he was too enraged. As their argument became more and more heated, a brawl broke out between the two. Fury blinded him as he brutally attacked her.

Unfortunately, she was defenseless against his strength and magical powers, and now Bombalurina was lying in her sister's den, fighting to stay alive.

Jellylorum, Jennyanydots, and one other queen were trying to bandage her wounds. When they were finished, Bomba requested that she see Demeter.

The queens nodded and fetched her sister. The pretty queen entered the den, and thanked the she-cats. They left the two siblings to talk alone.

"How are you feeling?" Demeter asked, sitting by the red queen's side. She already knew the answer, but she wanted to believe that things weren't as bad as they seemed. _She just had her kit, and now this!_

"Dem," quietly said Bomba, "I need to ask you a favor."

"Anything," she whispered. Her eyes were tearing up, but she didn't dare show it.

"I want you to raise her," Bomba stated.

Demeter's eyes widened. "But-"

Bomba swallowed. "I'm sorry, Dem, but I'm afraid I won't make it."

"But your wounds, they can- they can heal! Bomba, don't say this!" she pleaded.

A light chuckled struggled from Bomba's lips. "Do you think I want to be?" she asked sarcastically.

A sad smile took crossed over Demeter's face for a moment. "Oh, Bomby."

"Dem, I want you to raise her. You'd be a great mother. And Munk's certainly up-tight enough for it."

Tears began to fall from Demeter's eyes as Bomba spoke. The dying queen lifted her hand and held Demeter's. Her smile was very faint, and the playful sparkle in her eyes was fading.

"Will you take her for me?" Bomba asked.

Demeter nodded. "Of course. I said I'd do anything." She smiled at her sister. "What's her name?"

Bombalurina looked at her sister one last time before she closed her eyes.

"Jemima."

Bomba's hand went limp in Demeter's. The queen's tears became more frequent and now they were streaming down her cheeks.

"That's a beautiful name," she whispered. She gripped Bomba's hand and mourned over her sister.

Munkustrap waited for an hour before his mate finally emerged from their den. Here eyes were puffy from crying, and she was still sniffling. Understanding what had happened, Munk embraced her and held her.

"She'll be up in the Heaviside Layer now," he murmured into her ear as she buried her face into his chest.

A few moments passed before Dem looked up at him with her light blue eyes. "She asked us a favor before she left," Demeter told him.

"And that is?" He asked gently.

Demeter nodded her head in the direction of the nursery. "To raise her kitten. Is that okay with you?" A tone of worry hinted her voice.

The tom looked at her with the deepest sympathy. "Of course," he replied. "What's her name?"

"Jemima."


	2. Yesterday

**2- Yesterday**

The pale sun sent weak rays down upon the junkyard, giving just enough warmth to be pleasant, but not too hot. A cooling breeze swept through the air, stirring the autumn leaves and odd bits of paper or trash. It was just another pleasant day that would soon come to pass.

A beautiful black and gold queen groomed herself in her den. Her mate, a silver tabby, was quietly dozing next to her. It was very early morning, and there was a long day ahead for both of them. Both each had to do their duties to prepare for the Jellicle Ball. The moon had begun to form, much to the tribe's delight. A plethora of adolescents were coming of age and were ready to choose mates or at least start looking for one. Demeter smiled at the thought of Jemima partaking in the Jellicle Ball. Many were hoping that she would sing again after hearing her at the last ball.

Demeter was snapped out of her day dreaming when she felt Munkustrap stirring beside her. He smiled at her as he stretched.

"Good morning," he yawned.

"Good morning," Demeter replied. She had finished grooming, and was now sitting up, looking down at her mate.

Munkustrap stretched out his back and asked, "Is Jemima awake yet?"

"Actually, I'm not sure. I was going to check on her when I was done getting ready."

It was then that a pretty young queen entered the den looking excited and bubbly. Her energy brightened the room. She gave a warm smile to her parents, greeting them with a hearty, "Hello!"

Munkustrap sat up, finally awake and ready. "Good morning," Munkustrap greeted. "You seem excited about something. Care to share?"

"Victoria said that she had some big news so all of us younger queens are going to her den to see what it is!" Jemima gushed, barely containing her excitement. Victoria was her best friend, and had been thinking about what the secret was that Victoria kept.

"That sounds exciting," Demeter commented. "What else are you planning today?"

Jemima thought for a moment before asking, "I still have to rehearse a song for the ball, don't I?"

The other queen nodded. "Have you picked anything out yet?"

Jemima blushed under the white fur of her cheeks. She was nervous to sing in front of the tribe by herself and was trying to put off choosing the song for as long as possible. The queen loved to sing, but it was different when you were singing alone rather than with someone else, even if that someone else was Grizabella. "No. I forgot."

"Well, today you'll have plenty of time to think up of one," Munkustrap told her. "And I want you to be back for rehearsal at noon."

"Will do," Jemima grinned.

Before Jemima started to leave, Demeter added, "And be careful."

The she-cat turned and smiled softly at the gold and black queen. She gave her a kiss on the cheek and replied, "I will." As she exited the den, she called over her shoulder, "Love you Mom! And you too, Dad!"

Munkustrap watched his adopted daughter leave. He turned to say something to his mate, but he noticed that she had a sad look in her eyes. Instantly going into protective mode, Munk scooted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her. She looked up at him as he asked, "What's wrong?"

Demeter felt a pang of guilt twist in her stomach. She took a few moments to get her thoughts together before answering. "I just...I feel guilty."

The silver tabby cocked his head to one side. "Why?"

She looked away. "It feels wrong to have her call me 'mom'. It's like I'm taking away something from Bomba." Her eyes began to water, and Munkustrap pulled her closer to him.

"Bombalurina wanted you to raise her," he purred. "She'd be glad that her daughter was safe and happy with you." He rubbed her back with one of his paws.

Feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden, Demeter pulled away from him. "That's what you keep telling me," she stated, "but it still feels odd to me." There was a long pause. "I wish we would have told her the truth the first time she asked."

"We both agreed that we wouldn't tell her until we thought she was ready," Munkustrap argued. "Besides, she was only three weeks old at the time. Don't you think it would be rather frightening for a kitten to be told that you weren't her real mother? Kits form mother-daughter bonds right when they're born, and you wanted to tell her that he real mother was dead?"

Munkustrap soon realized that he had sounded a bit harsh, but it was too late to correct himself. The damage was done. Demeter looked at the tabby with wide eyes.

"Don't you think it would be easier for her if she had learned the truth earlier? Wouldn't it have been easier for _you_ when you learned the real reason that _your_ mother left?" Demeter's words were angry and cold.

The tom was taken aback. A wave of anger came over him, but he wasn't going to let it take total control. "I'm just saying that we made the right decision in not telling her. Bomba would have wanted the same."

Demeter's eyes narrowed. "How do you know that?" she hissed angrilly. "You were the one who made her go try to talk to Macavity! We wouldn't be having this argument if it weren't for you! This is your fault!" Tears streamed down her face and she was holding back sobs.

The angry queen had gone to far. Her words deeply hurt Munkustrap. The silver tabby stood up and backed away towards the entrance of the den. His expression was one of anguish and saddness. "Dem," he finally said, "I think we both need some alone time."

"A-are you leaving me?" Demeter challenged in a shaky voice. She was letting her emotions take control of her. Right now she was blinded with anger, and wanted to counter whatever had to say. "D-don't be your-your damn mother, Munk!"

Munkustrap wanted nothing more than to slap her across the face. But despite his want for violence, he was not going to hit his mate. "I am not leaving you," Munkustrap said quietly. "I just think we need to take the rest of the day off from each other." He swallowed and slowly declared. "I'll see you later."

Without waiting for a response, Munkustrap left the den. He was overwhelmed with emotion at the moment, and now he just wanted a place where he could be alone and let it all out. And he knew of the perfect place. As he padded along, the words he and Demeter had exchanged raced through his head at a million miles per hour. He'd had fights with Demeter before, but none of them had been as bad as this. Most of the time they argued over sily little things, but this fight was an all out verbal brawl, and he felt like he was coming out like the loser.

A small tent came into view. It was battered and beaten, and had various blankets and scarves holding it together, but Munkustrap didn't ever mind. It had been a place that he and his brothers had built when they were younger. Munkustrap entered the lopsided tent, and memories came flooding in. They blobbed together in a tangled mess in his mind, and he remembered the day that they decided to build the tent. It was the day after their mother, Grizabella, had left the tribe. The toms had been extremely upset. Tugger cried constantly and Munkustrap had developed a habit of extreme moping. Macavity was tired of seeing his brothers so worn out that he suggested that they build a place where all three of the brothers could escape their troubles, no matter what it was. Tugger and Munk agreed instantly, and now the tent still stood.

_If only we could go back to those days when nothing seemed to matter the moment we stepped inside of a little tent,_ Munk thought. _Things seemed easier back then._ _Macavity wasn't curdled yet, and Tugger was still the most shy tom in the junkyard._ He let out a long sigh. He didn't much like feeling like a failure to his mate. The only time that he had felt that way was when his mother told him that she was leaving. He had took the blame on himself, and today there was still a trace of responsibility for his mother abandoning the tribe. The tabby tom lied down and closed his eyes so he could clear his thoughts.

* * *

Jemima sat in Victoria's den. She was a part of a circle that was made up of herself, Electra, Etcetera, and, of course, Victoria. The pure white queen was beaming at her friends who were excited the hear the news. They had been waiting patiently for her to reveal her secret, and now she was preparing to speak.

"Well, yesterday was a most wondrous day!" she started. "It was very early in the morning. I was feeling a bit odd, so I went to see Jenny." Victoria straightened up with pride when she said the next line: "Plato and I are expecting our first litter of kittens!"

All three of the queens squeal, Etcetera especially the loudest. Jemima beamed at Victoria and embraced her with a hug.

"I'm so happy for you both!" she exclaimed.

"Me too!" Electra added.

"What do ya think they'll look like?" Etcetera demanded, unable to contain her delight and curiousity.

Victoria blushed. "I don't know. I'm hoping that they'll look a little like both of us," she answered.

"And hopefully some of them will have your fabulous white fur!" gushed Electra. "It's absolutely perfect!"

The white queen smiled shyly. The queens continued their talk of kits. They brainstormed ideas for cute names that Victoria could use.

But then something strange happened that changed the whole mood of the little gathering. It was Etcetera who started it.

"If you have a strapping young tom, you could name him Bombadil!" she suggested. The response was Electra elbowing her friend in the ribs. "Ow!" Etcetera squeaked. She shot Electra a glare. "What was that for?"

"You can't use that name!" Electra hissed quietly in hopes that only Etcetrea could hear. "It's to close to...you know...the other name." She jerked her head in the direction of Jemima.

"What, Bombalurina?" Etcetera questioned obliviously.

The queens, including Victoria, grimaced when Jemima asked, "What about my aunt?"

"Nothing!" Electra and Etcetera blurted in unison.

Jemima looked at them with a puzzled expression. She wasn't sure why her friends were acting so strangely, especially about her deceased aunt. Jemima hadn't really known her, as she died a day after she was born. Jemima never really thought much about her aunt, but she was starting to realize that she didn't even remember how her aunt passed on to the Heaviside Layer. She never really paid much attention when her parents explained serious things.

"Hello?" Earth to Jemima!" Etcetera said loudly. Jemima was snapped out of her train of thinking and turned to look at her friend with her wide brown eyes.

"Are you feeling all right?" Victoria inquired. "You looked like you zoned out for a moment."

"Huh?" Jemima blinked slowly. "Oh, I wasn't really thinking of much. I'm fine."

Victoria smiled. "Good. Anyway, what were you saying before Electra about a lovely girl's name? Wasn't it something like-"

Etcetera cut the queen off. Her energy never stopped. "Hey, Jemima, didn't you say you had to be at a rehearsal at noon? The sun's nearly all the way up," she said, noting the position of the sun.

Jemima was startled. She had completely forgotten about reahearsal! "Oh, right! Thanks Etcetera!" The young queen stood up to leave. She gave a quick hug to each of her friends as she said, "I'm sorry I have to leave so soon, Vic! Keep me posted about your kits!"

"I will," Victoria grinned. "And good luck at your rehearsal!"

"Thanks!" Jemima said goodbye and made off to the main clearing of the junkyard at a rather fast pace. She didn't want to be late, so she picked up her speed and moved at a steady jog. She didn't want to alarm Munkustrap by sprinting into the clearing. He would worry that she was either running from something or that something had frightened her. But as she reached the clearing, she felt that something was off. Her father was in the clearing, but he didn't look like he was ready to help her rehearse. Rather, he looked like he hadn't slept for days. His whole self looked like he had aged.

She approached Munkustrap with wide chocolate brown eyes and a small frown. "What's wrong, dad? You look exhausted."

"Jemima," he sighed wearily. His eyes looked sad and his voice sounded pained. "We need to talk."


End file.
